The True Tales of Symphonia
by typhoon-4434
Summary: This is what really happend in ToS. Warning, there are plenty of Spoilers and Swearing. Reader Descretion is advised. Writen horrible on purpose.


**The True Tale of Symphonia**

Disc One:

Like one day, Lloyd, Genis and like Collette went to School. When they were at school like there was a big flash of light. So the Prof. went to go check it out. Then Lloyd decides to go. Then like OMG genis tags along, and collette does to, because like Lloyd is her like idol and she is not to bright. On their way there a ghost and ghoulies attack them, and Lloyd and his Wooden Swords cuts them downs. Genis is a Penis, so he uses crap magic at teh start. Collette just sucks so ha.

They like finally arrive and meet Botta and the renegades, and they're all like "OMG Desians!". So then they fight themz, but then this really big fat guy comes and is like "glah!" so they fight hims. When they are losing Kratos comes and helps. and hes all like " I'm Bad ass so you die nowz! ". So the fat guy goes all like " OMG, you're bad ass " then he commits suicide because of Kratos' Bad Assness.

Then Kratos is like a sell sword, so then he gets hired to do stuff. So Lloyd and co. go into the temple place, 'cause they can. So they like beat the temple and get the socerers ring because its cool. Then at the end they meet Remiel, a stupid Angel that like men. He's lie Collettes father so yeah. Then like they all go back to the place. Then Lloyd and Penis.. I mean Genis go to Lloyds house. On the way there they go to the human ranch and talk to old lady. The desians don't like that so they get mad and attack the village. Lloyd and Genis save the village but get exiled because they wouldn't have sex with the gay mayor.

So like Lloyd and Genis go to look for collette, because Raine, Kratos and her like leave. When Lloyd and Genis almost find her, Lloyd gets captured and Genis is like "OMG, I;m scared so let me go". So the Renegades let him go. Lloyd escapes and meets Yuan, another Bad Ass. Then everyone "saves" Lloyd and they like leave. So then the group does some stuff, and like Colletter becomes an Angel and loses her humanity. Alone the way Sheena joins the group. and Sheena is cool, because she has big jumblies and wants in Lloyd' Pants. So when they go to the Tower of Salvation, they fight and kill Remiel because he sucks. Then they Fight Kratos and beat him because they're mad that he betrayed them. Also because they have the 10x Experiencer, because they got 3000 grade.

So then they fight Yggdrasill and lose, because hes like all " I'm uber so die! ". Then the Renegades save them, because they want Lloyd's Exsphere because its shiny. So then they do some stuff and get transported to Tethe'alla. When they're there, they meet Presea, and Genis wants to get in her pants, but she doesn't wear any, so its easier for Genis. Then they meet Zelos and hes cool, because hes a Womanizer and wants in all the ladies pants. Then they do some stuff and they're like " OMG! we did some stuff ". Then they travel through the sewers and meet Regal. and Regal owns because hes Bad Ass and Kicks Ass (literally). Then they do some more stuff and Presea is herself again, and Regal Joins the Party. Then they make a pact with Volt and then Undine appears and is like " Mana link broke, now fuck off. ". and Volt is all like " ... ".

Then the group does crap and breaks all the Mana links and makes Pacts with all the summon spirits. Summon Spirit battles rule because it plays " Fighting of the Spirit " in the background. Then a giant tree grows and kills everything in sylvarant. Thats because they broke the mana links. So everyone is like " oops.. Shouldn't have done that... " Then Yuan is like " oops my bad, shouldn't have told them to do that... ". So then everyone fixes stuff and Kratos and Lloyd kicks Forcytus' ass. It was really Kratos that did all the work, but Lloyd just sat there and jacked off. Then like everyone goes " OMG, Collette's body is crystalizing. " Then thats the End of Disc one, and it was swell.

Disc 2

With Sylvarant Destroyed, the group travels back to Tethe ' Alla with the Rheairds. Then they do some stuff, find out that Kratos is Lloyd's dad, and Lloyd is like " OMG, you can't be my dad... OMG OMG OMG OMG! ". Then they do some more stuff, and Zelos betrays everyone because he hates being the chosen... AKA he wants in Pronyma's Pants... thong... . Then like they kill Zelos, because, they're all dumbasses. Then they do some more stuff, see really Cheesy, cut scenes. Then they save collette, because she was captured, while checking out Sheena... I mean Lloyd... I mean Zelos.. yeah thats it. Then Yggdrasill goes glah and does glah and then the group does useless stuff, sees useless stuff, and eats useless stuff.

Then the fun part. Lloyd fights Kratos. Kratos is all like " You cannot defeat me, I am to Bad Ass for j00! " the Lloyd says " Nuh uh, I'm getting Bad Ass too, I killed Zelos, and got in bed with Sheena in Flanoir! ". Kratos then says " Impressive, but no one is better in bed than that cunt anna. ". So then Kratos and Lloyd Fight, and its like the best fight, because it plays " The End of a Thought " in the background. Then Lloyd wins, because he bumped into Kratos while looking at Sheena's jumblies. Then the group fights Origin, and beat him, because Sheena body slamed him with her voluptuous body.

Then Mithos does some stuff and captures Collette, and everyone is like " Who needs her. " But then Lloyd says " Lets get her, so Genis can finally lose his Virginity, by having hot sex with her. Genis says "ok". So then everyone goes to Derris Kharlan, even Kratos, because he joined the group. Everyone saves Collette, beats some crap and then does some Side Quests, and Lloyd gets a Pirate Costume. Then Everyone goes to Vinheim so they can beat Mithos. Once they ger there, they all go bad ass on his ass and kicks his ass and kills him. Lloyd is sad, because Mithos was hot and looked like a chick.

Then Lloyd reunited the 2 worlds, and got to see a cool anime video. The Great Tree growns, and Lloyd names its something. Then finally, the ending credits. After those, we see some crap, everyone lives happily ever after, and Sheena and Lloyd go on adventures to get all the Exspheres... AKA find new places to have sex and junk.

... And that the end of that story, now get the Fuck out of my house!


End file.
